In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize