so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Walk of Shame today included voting.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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