now i know why i became what i already was.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
