i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
