just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
