Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
