you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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