I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We just shotgunned beers for America
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
