is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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