found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
