she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I forget how to act sober
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
