what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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