Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
