someone get that fucking seahorse.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i dont even know how to be here
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
