I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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