Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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