the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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