that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize