Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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