i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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