Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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