I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
