You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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