i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
