Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
