Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
