Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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