i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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