i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
