I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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