My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
