I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
