How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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