i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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