she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was CRYING into my vagina
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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