just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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