While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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