You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
