Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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