what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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