No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
