wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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