This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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