I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You have to summon your inner elephant
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize