dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
