There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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