I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
