i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
