don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
