Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
