i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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