"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
