Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
