They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
