And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
