Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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