I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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