I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
