why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
