Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
