Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize
